My name is Katrina, and I am a writer. I have multiple blogs, and I have a very blunt personality. I dislike things I dislike, and I have trouble pretending otherwise. Online it's even worse. There is a beautiful point in life when you realize that the distance online allows for even more disclosure than offline. Not that I wish to be anonymous. Someday soon I'll compile my various blogs onto a single website, and it'll be easier to find me on Facebook etc.
Keep in mind, I am not narcissistic. Not really. All I am is very curious about myself, and very very pro full disclosure. I dislike that in our society we are taught, no, TRAINED to think of ourselves as worthless, as nothing. We're not. You are all you will ever have to depend on, as harsh as that may sound. You will have your back when no one else will. So why not get to know yourself?
First Question I found. I found these online. I'll also answer questions I receive from people on my Facebook or Deviantart, or if anyone posts stuff here.
Name the most terrifying moment of your life so far.
This is kinda difficult. I don't scare easily. So, it'd be one of two events... That took place within 24 hours of each other.
The first, it was my first night being homeless. I had just stumbled off a 4 day bus ride from Upstate NY, and saw one of my best friends, who I hadn't seen in person in about 3 years. He had taken me to WinCo(a cheap grocery store that sells decent stuff) and I bought a veggie tray knowing it'd be unlikely I would get decent vegetables for a while. I sat at Pioneer Square, at about 10 oclock at night, for about an hour. I had no idea what I would do. I knew NOTHING. Not where any shelters were, not what areas were bad, not who to trust or not.
The lights were orange, and I began to notice that there were less and less people outside. I had seen this one guy who was about my size but with a bit of muscle walking around asking for change. He'd walked the block twice when I walked up to him. I felt really awkward, considering I had never done this before, had never been in this position before and had no idea how he would react.
I introduced myself, said I'm in the same situation as you, I just got into town and have nowhere to sleep tonight, do you know of any safe places?
I trusted HIM. He had slightly skeezy energy, but that was about it. (I trust my instincts for the most part.) He however pulled another guy over, who was walking around carrying a giant trash bag full of blankets that he was selling. Yeah. Selling BLANKETS to homeless people. When you're desperate, you're desperate.
I bought a decently thick one for 5 bucks, and Dusty(the guy I asked about the place to sleep) told him to show me a good spot up in the Pearl. I followed them on their "business" which included a drug deal on Broadway (Which I could tell because A) why would someone BUY crappy halvies(half cigarettes people drop on the ground) for that much, and b) the guy they were selling it to looked at me VERY aggressively and asked "who's THAT and why is she here?"
I was at that point hugging the blanket, pretty much sticking to myself and observing everything around me. The guy was big, and bald. He was wearing a black leather jacket and standing outside some random club.
Anyway, then Dusty wandered off and Mr Creepy showed me in a wandering way to where we'd sleep. Approximately on 12th and Everett or so. It was on an upraised portion, and as my first night REALLY being homeless, sleeping outside on cardboard boxes, I was very uncomfortable. He left to go "spange for another 10 dollars" and was gone for at least 2 hours.
It was dark, and quiet, and starting to get chillier. I could hear the distant sound of cars moving, and at one point a couple climbed out their window onto their balcony to scream at each other. A cop car went by and I froze, petrified that I'd be arrested for sleeping outside.
About half an hour later a woman stumbled out of a bar, teetering haphazardly on needle thin heels to a white minivan she had parked in front of a shop. She backed up straight into a stop sign so hard that it knocked the stop sign over, and then she took off... The wrong way on a one way street.
I realized I needed to pee, and it was midnight. I didn't know the area, so I got up and walked slightly, and found a little spot in between the upraised portions of the block. I backed in, pulled my pants down and squatted, wide-eyed, staring at the street. I don't know if I expected someone to appear at the edge and block me in, or a cop to happen to glance at just the right angle and see me, or what, but it was a very uncomfortable pee.
I crept back up to my makeshift bed and laid there, staring at the purple looking sky. I fell asleep before the guy came back, and suddenly woke up. I glanced over where I saw movement, and saw the guy sitting with his bag open and a pile of pills and vials and syringes. When I looked, he was injecting some unknown substance into his arm. I froze and very carefully settled myself and closed my eyes.
I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up and sat bolt upright after having a dream of him slicing me into four pieces and ripping me apart.
That's probably the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. That, or waking up to some guy having sex with me without my permission. I'll go into that in more detail (I really don't mind) if anyone is wondering what happened with that one.
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